I am an Olympics junkie. There, I've confessed it. I can't get enough. My stomach muscles are sore from the anxiety each event brings. Men's gymnastics about sent me over the edge. What an amazing show by the Japanese! I just can't wait for Track and Field. If I could, I'd hermit myself off and just watch them all day. It's ridiculous.
I have been feeling extremely exhausted with regards to ministry. My friend and mentor Don Finto tells me that when I begin feeling that way it means I am doing things in my own strength and not in the Lord's. That is a constant battle for me. I go to the point of burn out and then gripe about being in burn out. When will I learn? (That's a rhetorical question, by the way!)
My friend, Jen Lemen writes about some of her struggle with church today. I related to much of what she was saying. I know it may sound crazy, but it's true. I have felt the need to push the "reset" button a lot lately. What that will look like for me is undetermined, but surely necessary.
There's so much talk out there about the church and what's good about it and what stinks. Several comments have been meaningful. Jen said something about wrestling with a love-hate relationship. I love the Church! When I first entered ministry, I had big dreams and bold initiatives to make some changes that seemed important. Perhaps they were. However, I remember one Sunday looking out at someone whose face was completely empty until we sang an old hymn. I had this epiphany that day. My role is a layered role. While it's good to challenge and boldly lead, it's better to love. If I am truly a music pastor that means that I must be sensitive to the needs of the flock. Is my most critical role to teach new songs? Is it to help churches start praise teams? Is it to stand up against the complacency that so infects our churches? Is it to bring the most creative special music, drama, or art to the table? I mean--the thought of all that exhausts me today. No--my role is to lift up the name of Jesus. Yes--all those things are helpful in doing that in certain ways. However, sometimes, the things take spotlight over Jesus.
I believe God loves the church. I believe in the power of community and witness. I believe in sharing in the hurts and victories of fellow followers of the Way. But, I am not convinced that our current method of doing things is the only way--or even the most God honoring way. In the end, whether I believe it or not, I am called to love. Love above all else. Love the idiosyncrasies, love the diversity, love the "progressives", love the "heel draggers", love the people who agree with my views and love those who don't. (As if my views were any kind of reference anyway!) The concept of love transcends modernity, post-modernity, and whatever will come after that. It truly is the stuff of Jesus. Now, the struggle comes in putting thoughts into action.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
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5 comments:
Amen. May God increase your faith through the struggles.
Love to read your thoughts and know that you feel "it" to. By "it" I mean that struggle that has to do with church. Among other things a church is a family, a business, a mission, an organization, and a culture, . The church is the bride of Christ, the displaced nation waiting to go home, the imperfect trying to imitate the perfect model. I was once told that church isn't supposed to be easy, just like marriage, parenthood, and for that matter Christianity! But we hold the church to a higher standard than we do individuals. I am proud of all who choose to minister and work in the realm we call "church".
BST,
Just remember, the bible does not say,"be ye not tired," it says "be ye not weary." There is a difference between the two. Weariness has to do with spirit, vision, outlook; being tired just means being dog-tired. One can be cured with rest, the other rekindled only by GOD's Holy Spirit.
It took me two weeks of vacation to discover this often overlooked truth (and reality/struggle for ministers).
If you have time, jump over to "www.wadehodges.com" and check out his posting of an article by Andy Stanley (a few days ago). It has a lot to say about congregational leadership. Be blessed!
Russell
(http://russellheil.blogdrive.com)
Hang in there, friend. And I can relate -- I know tired, and I know weary. I'd rather not know either so well, but such is my current life. On a positive note, 3 songs down, 2 in the works -- only 9 left after that. (I started with the ones I already had, so they're going fast and I feel like I'm getting somewhere!) Off to bed I go.
Weariness...I understand that feeling. I would like to know more about doing things in the Lord's strength and not my own ... good thought ... if you feel like it some time I would enjoy some elaboration on that matter. I've been reading your blog for a while now, this is my first comment. I enjoy your thoughts.
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